Gifts & Toys

A teenager and his grandmother sharing a bowl of popcorn on the sofa, him holding his phone, a guitar and a skateboard propped at either end.

The Late-Night Text Years

Teens: Identity, big ideas, and a safe harbor

By Alison Richardson, MS·Ages 12–17·Last reviewed October 2026

What a twelve- to seventeen-year-old is developmentally working on, what they need from a grandparent, and the games and gifts that match it.

What should I get my teenage grandchild?

Give a twelve- to seventeen-year-old something that treats them as capable and is unmistakably theirs: a strategy game you will actually play together, a build with real difficulty, or a gift that fits the identity they are currently constructing rather than the one they had at nine. Teenagers are working on identity, abstract thinking, and friendship, and the gifts that land are the ones that respect all three.

Teenagers can think big thoughts, argue both sides, and plan for the future. They can also make a split-second decision that none of that thinking was involved in. Friends come first, privacy matters, and the body finishes its biggest changes. Through all of it, a grandparent can be the one adult who is not keeping score.

Here is what is happening, and what it means for the way you connect.

Jump to the gifts What is happening at this age

12–17 years

Teens

Pick a different stage

What is happening

What your grandchild is working on

Body and changes

GirlsPuberty usually begins between 8 and 13 and lasts two to five years. Many have their first period around 12, and most reach their full height by about 16.
BoysPuberty usually begins between 9 and 14, about two years after girls, and lasts two to five years. The biggest growth spurt averages nearly 4 inches a year. Most finish growing by about 17, and many do not get facial hair until the end.
BothA 13-year-old granddaughter may be nearly done while a 13-year-old grandson is just beginning. Timing says nothing about a child’s interests or maturity.

Source: Cleveland Clinic

Thinking

Ages 12–13Thinking is still concrete and black-and-white, with intense self-focus. Peers can feel like constant judges.
Ages 14–17Abstract thinking and “big picture” reasoning grow, but may not show up in the moment. Strong emotions can drive decisions when impulses are involved.
All teensThe front of the brain, which handles planning, impulse control, and weighing consequences, is among the last parts to mature and is not finished until well into the 20s.

Source: American Academy of Pediatrics

Sleep and stress

All teensSleep timing shifts: melatonin rises later at night and falls later in the morning, which is why teens stay up late and struggle with early mornings. Short sleep makes attention and impulse control harder.
All teensThe teen brain handles stress differently than an adult’s, but it is also adaptable. Challenging classes, exercise, and creative work like art and music strengthen it.

Source: National Institute of Mental Health

Feelings and people

Ages 14–17Interest in romantic relationships grows. Worry about appearance and peer pressure peak. More arguments with parents, less time with family, more with friends.
All teensIdentity is the project: who am I, what do I believe, where do I belong.

Source: American Academy of Pediatrics

A note on timing: the puberty ages above are typical ranges from the Cleveland Clinic and the American Academy of Pediatrics. Every teenager has their own schedule, and it does not predict their interests or maturity. Doctors have their own definitions of “early” and “late,” and anything that worries the parents is a conversation for them and the pediatrician. Source: CDC

Did you know?

Things you will not find on most milestone sites

These come from peer-reviewed studies. They are the kind of detail that changes how you play.

An involved grandparent is measurably good for a teenager

In a study of 1,515 teens aged 11 to 16, the more involved their closest grandparent was, the fewer emotional problems they had and the more kind and helpful they were toward others. The link was strongest in single-parent and step-families.

Source: Attar-Schwartz

The “safe harbor” grandparent has a research name

It is called natural mentoring. In a national study that followed U.S. teens into young adulthood, those who named a non-parent adult mentor, relatives included, had better outcomes in school, work, and health. You do not need a program. You need to be the adult they can call.

Source: DuBois & Silverthorn

Teens take more risks when friends are watching. You are the opposite condition

In a driving-simulator study, teenagers ran more yellow lights when friends were watching, and the brain’s reward center lit up when they did. Adults drove the same either way. On real roads, the risk of a fatal crash for 16- and 17-year-old drivers rises with every extra teen passenger. A grandparent in the passenger seat is a different ride entirely.

Sources: Chein · Chen

Late nights are biology, not laziness

In the teen years, the sleep hormone melatonin rises later at night and drops later in the morning. That is why a 16-year-old can be wide awake at midnight and useless at 7 a.m. A late breakfast on your visit is kindness, not indulgence.

Source: National Institute of Mental Health

How to connect at this age

Be the low-pressure adult: no grades, no curfew to enforce, no lecture waiting.
Listen more than you talk, and do not report everything back to the parents. (Safety is the exception, and they know that.)
Ask about their world: the music, the game, the friend group, the thing they are building. Then actually listen to the answer.
Keep the traditions going even when they roll their eyes. They will miss them later.
Drive them places. The car is where teenagers talk.

Sources: American Academy of Pediatrics · National Institute of Mental Health

So the best gifts for a teenager respect their growing identity: strategy games to play for keeps, things to make, and things that are theirs. That is what the gifts below were chosen for.

Gifts & toys

Gift ideas for teens, 12–17 years

Games and gifts for the teen years: award winners for the 12-and-up age group, and picks from this year’s gift guides for teens. Each one is matched to something a teenager is working on, from strategy and creativity to independence and time with friends.

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Some links on this page are affiliate links. If you buy through them, The Gran Life earns a small commission at no extra cost to you. The price range on each card is a general guide from the maker’s list price; current price and availability are on Amazon. How these toys were chosen →

Teen girl photographing her laughing grandmother with a small camera

Camp Snap

Camp Snap Screen-Free Camera

Recommended in Wardrobe Oxygen’s 2026 gift guide for a 14-year-old girl, chosen by a real teen. Also on their list for 16-year-olds.

All the fun of taking pictures, none of the scrolling. Teens are building their own story right now, and this lets them capture it without a phone in their face.

Teens: Identity, big ideas, and a safe harbor

What should I get my teenage grandchild?

What your grandchild is working on

Body and changes

Thinking

Sleep and stress

Feelings and people

Things you will not find on most milestone sites

An involved grandparent is measurably good for a teenager

The “safe harbor” grandparent has a research name

Teens take more risks when friends are watching. You are the opposite condition

Late nights are biology, not laziness

How to connect at this age

Gift ideas for teens, 12–17 years

Camp Snap Screen-Free Camera

Instax Mini 12 Instant Camera, Mint Green

Ivy 2 Mini Photo Printer

Botanicals Wildflower Bouquet

Cruiser Plus Suitcase Record Player, Ink Blue

Puffin in Bloom 4-Book Collection: Anne of Green Gables, Heidi, Little Women and A Little Princess

Kindle (16 GB), Ube

Moments Charm Bracelet

Boat and Tote, Zip-Top

FreeSip Water Bottle, 32 oz

Amuseables Heart Bag Charm

Press-On Nails Kit, 4 Sets

You Can’t Say Umm Party Game

LEGO Jurassic World Dinosaur Fossils: Tyrannosaurus rex

GraviTrax PRO Giant Set

Better Butter Thinking Putty

Catan (Base Game)

Ticket to Ride Europe

ZipString Aracna

Codenames

Purrramid

Snap Circuits Pro SC-500

LEGO Game Boy

Kanoodle Party

How these toys were chosen

Good Housekeeping Institute

The Toy Association, Toy of the Year

ASTRA Play Awards

Shop TODAY Best Toy Awards

NAPPA (National Parenting Product Awards)

For ages 18 to 25

Two things we looked for

Where this list is headed

Sources and references